THE BIRTH.
Lumi Beginnings
"Lumi" began as an unnamed speck of my 12 year old self's imagination. My early childhood consisted of heavy discipline and forceful molding from various authority figures into things I was not nor had any interest in being. I decided to create a separate identity for myself so I wouldn't have to deal with the negative consequences of being who I was.
Thus, the birth of Lumi.
THE STRUGGLE.
Starting From Scratch
Much of our early lives are inevitably dictated by parents who may or may not care about our wants. My parents were not a big fan of technology, so I was lucky enough to be left with an old Dell laptop when I was in elementary school. I wrote journal entries and short stories about my life before learning how to animate on the computer. It would take up to an hour just to render a 3 minute video, and I would have to schedule my videomaking time around school, violin lessons, and Saturday Chinese classes.
But here's the thing about us creators- we CREATE ways to make things work.
THE ESCAPE.
Escape From Reality
During the summer of 2012, I started getting more involved in this game called MapleStory. I opened my FM (Free Market) shop "KoshiKoshi" since I went under the alias "Koshi" at the time, and business was successful enough for me to keep this Maple thing as a summer job until 2015. Not saying I was crazy rich obviously, but the income was definitely satisfactory for a mere high school freshman. I also began to upload gaming videos to my YouTube at this time under "xMapleFantasy," where I would post guides, commentary, and fun videos with friends. My "job" distracted me from all the other crap going on in my life and I learned more from this summer gig than my entire high school career.
This was officially my "escape" from reality.
THE FALL.
When It All Comes Crashing Down
As I got older, I realized that I could not live the rest of my life escaping. Apart from the intense drama and backstabbing beaches all coming for me at once, it hit me that I had no choice but to accept the fact that certain people are just stuck in their set ways and there was nothing I could do to control that. I also had to accept the fact that my 16 year old self was in no position to change a lot of things in my life because I was not financially independent. Everything I had belonged to my parents, as is the case with most teenagers. At school, I was under the authority of faculty members no matter how irrational some were. If I disobeyed, I would have to suffer at the hands of my parents. Depression took over me. I stopped making videos and I quit Maple because I was physically unable to function properly.Â
The only thing I had 100% control of- the only thing I COULD do at this point-Â was brace myself, hold on tight, and keep the dream alive.
Lumi survived. Katie didn't.
THE REBIRTH.
The Storm Shall Pass
Life gets hard sometimes, and other times it gets unbearable. These are the moments in which we learn just how strong we truly are. Yes, it was unfortunate that I had to suffer even though I may or may not have deserved it. But what's even more unfortunate- is all the breath wasted by the people who wanted to continue kicking me while I was down and dying. I graduated high school early in January 2016 despite a whole lotta opinions being chucked at me, and the first thing I did was run back to YouTube. I wanted to bring Lumi back- because this was more than just an online username. Lumi is who I am and embodied everything I considered worth fighting for. I gathered pieces of my broken self and started the present day "Just Lumi" channel. I started writing lyrics and incorporating them into covers, which I would upload weekly. They were pretty cringy. I deleted them off the face of the Earth.
I figured I had to keep shooting before finally making the shot.
THE REVIVAL.
Shooting For The Moon Again
My early lyrics contained a lot of sensitive material that described the unspeakable parts of my teen years. From my emotionally abusive ex to my lifelong struggle with self esteem, my music reflected the state of my mind at the time- desolate and dark. I don't recall getting mass hate for my channel, but it didn't please the one person who mattered the most: myself. Maybe that sounds "selfish," but creating pieces that don't make YOU happy is one of the worst things you can do to yourself as an artist.
Once again, "Just Lumi" went on a hiatus after 8 weeks.
THE RESURRECTION.
This is LUMINATION.
Comedy has been my remedy for depression ever since I first came in contact with the illness. My elementary school counselor (who I was scheduled to see at least once a week) was the one who made me aware of this and encouraged me to continue using the remedy. On a sadder note, I spent the majority of my life having people laugh AT me more often than WITH me. My family never took me seriously since I was nothing but a naive little girl in their eyes, and I became the laughing stock to bullies at school for not looking like everyone else. I'd thought of doing comedy before on YouTube, but was too afraid that people would think I was too ugly or boring (two things I was previously bullied for). Somewhere along the way, I realized that it didn't matter if people were laughing at or with me as long as they were laughing because I consider laughter a positive reaction nevertheless. That is the purpose of the new Just Lumi channel. Doing you and not caring what others think.Â
This is the mothereffin' LUMINATION.
We got NO MORE F'S GIVEN.